what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
