we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I still have a little drunk in my system
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Dick very happy bro
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
