it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize