i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
