Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
