So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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