He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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