I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize