dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
