i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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