I bet he comes in French.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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