hell yes lets make some ravioli
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
