Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
