I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
