I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
