I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
