So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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