it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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