dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
