Dual....:-)
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
