eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
God, I missed his penis.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
