Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
