just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
