I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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