I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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