thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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