Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
