I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
