ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize