you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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