Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
