Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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