who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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