who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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