Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
