He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
