Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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