My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
