And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
