i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
