For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize