He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
