I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
