Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
