I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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