also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
