the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
