ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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