she was so not down for the gang bang
where are you?
Hypothermia
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
