My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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