I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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