Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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