Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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