I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
