So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
