Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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