I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
