I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
