Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
