I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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