u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
