Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
