well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
